My body is here... but my mind and heart is where it should be.

I set aside a moment, more like a few hours to think of the mother land today. ..

... I think about Mrs. Madeline Bouliane turning 90 years old, and I am not there to drink a bottle of wine with her. 

I think about Paul Perry feeling better and being out of the hospital.

I think about Lily, and try to imagine her, because I have not held her.  I imagine her infant smell, her baby cries, and her new awareness to her surroundings.

I try to visualize Nash’s voice, saying new words and learning new things every day.

I can close my eyes and see Diddo wearing a button down shirt, and Nancy asking him to take it off because it needs to be ironed.

I can feel the hug I would give to Nancy, when she looks upset and says, “I wish my dad could be here”.

I can hear mumma asking me to stay for a cup of coffee, when she really means, she would like me to stay for 5 pots.

I can smell the slimy dog stench of Kirby, as he makes his way up to your lap, even if you don’t want him to be there.

I can feel the tenseness of Ohio’s arms, as I pick him up to snuggle, telling me that he does not want to snuggle.

I can smell Alex’s birthday cake candles, and see a younger brother, as compared to a baby one.

I can here Mitch’s mumble turn into an actual conversation, as I plaque him with questions.

I can hear jerry’s ‘ing’s’ turning into ‘in’s’ when he brings up the ‘weddin’.

I can see Mary Ann’s face light up as we all agree to play settlers.

I can hear Ryan twist off the cap of the celery salt, as he perfects ceasers for all of us to drink.

I can here Ms. Amy correct one of us, as we try and say something in German.

I can block out the soccer match I hear from all the way down the stairs, that Marty and Chris has blaring.

I can feel the gentle shake of Rusty, near my feet, signifying that he would like something, anything, from the dinner table!

Then again it’s all just imagines.  They are still important because I hold them in my mind, and my heart, for those few hours I think of the homeland.  I am so extremely lucky to have all of this, and so much more to look forward to.  It’s what drives me every day. 

The countdown is on... 56 days.